Thoughts of a common pigeon sitting on a balcony in south-west London on a cold dark evening in February (following snow)

Coo

Cough

Coo

Coooocococough

Fuck me, it's freezing
I need more feathers
I asked Bert if I could
Borrow his feathers
He said no
That's the last time
I share my worms
With him

Coo

Cooooo

Coo?

Who?

Shut up, I was here first
No, I was here first
It's my balcony
My fucking balcony
Look there - there, see?
That's my shit on the wall
It is it is it bloody well is
Smell it and see

Coo

Cough

I've got a cold
Can pigeons get colds?

In all my years
As a pigeon
I have never seen
A sneezing pigeon

Coo

Coo

I can't even get any fun
Out of shitting
On people's heads

Coo

Because it's too cold
And I'm constipated
Who ever heard
Of a constipated pigeon?

Coo

Coo

Cooooo

Cough

Splutter