Sharpie King Size Permanent Marker

Yellow photo from the '70s with

Rounded corners and naked

Kids — could be porn in the wrong hands

 

Incense shot glass

Snakes on a Motherfucking Plane mug

Waxy candles and I want
 

To punch you to death


With hugs


~O~

My Old Room

The new tenant said
Call me Jack, kid
So I showed him my old room
My mother always
Asleep in the nude
A blanket tangled round her head
Her widespread legs
My old room
Hidden thick
Behind feral shag
And he smiled so
I smiled


~O~

mother's mother

I ate breakfast at a bar next to a Buddhist temple on the day my grandmother died

She was in a wheelchair most of her life because of polio

She was a genius and not in the way people throw that word around on IMs

She was a genius

I barely knew her

But toward the end if her life she comforted me after my mother threatened to kill me

As she was dying she comforted me
She comforted me
As
She
Was dying

Because she was stronger than me even when she was crippled a second time by cancer

She was steel
She was cold
She was a reed standing against the gale force
She had to be
She never wanted us to feel sorry for her and it was
kindly cruel to every child's
scraped knee and
every tear for something
not so important

This morning I responded to an email from my mother for the first time in two years

I don't plan on corresponding with her again but

She said my grandmother was never her mother and I understand what she means

What she's feeling now is what I will feel when she dies and
it is to be so


~O~

Open letter to the guy in the steam room at the gym beating his gigantic penis

Stop jerking your cock in the steam room

Seriously, dude

That's like three different crimes and a health-code violation

Plus your shit was so big it traumatized me

YOU WERE SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME, OKAY

I heard some slapping then it got faster and I looked over and

Oh my god, what the fuck

Not cool man, not cool

He was beating it hard, too, like it stole his front-row tickets to "Rent"

If his goop had landed on me someone woulda had to die

And it would have been me from a deadly, incurable virus, okay

I ran to the shower and shivered like Jodie Foster in "The Accused"

Which is like more than 20 years old now

And only has a 7.0 rating on IMDB

Anyway

Stop jerking your cock in the steam room

Seriously, dude


~O~

My Facebook status says: “I just updated my Facebook status”

I am the spunk the babysitter caught with her cunt instead of her mouth
(Or her eye)
When the baby’s daddy came home alone

I am the sperm that won the race
The only thing I ever won

I am the boy who was born of man who was always a boy
I am the boy of a woman who was always right and never did anything wrong her entire life
Except have me
Just ask her

Here’s the choice I made:
No, I can’t tell you

All these choices create all this drama
No drama
Just words
These words

Update your Facebook status: “I just had an abortion :-)”
Post the responses on PIFFLE.
You will be a legend


~O~

Talk to strangers!

I’m stalking you on Omegle

“You're now chatting with a random stranger”

The random stranger is always me

Say hi! and you’re in danger

You never suspected

You have disconnected


~O~

c’mon, let’s leave

this bar plays dance music
but doesn’t have a dance floor

everyone is drinking
but nobody’s here to drink

everyone is looking
at everyone looking

at everyone


~O~

lightning crashes doin' our own thang

there are only

two songs ever

that have the

word “placenta”


~O~

Kiss the Fist

Hug me
The way Chris Brown hugs Rihanna

Kiss me
The way Ike kissed Tina

Rape me
The way W raped America

No, not like that

Like the way Miss Piggy raped Kermit
’Cause you know she did

And I love pork


~O~

three poems (not really) about the same thing

first things first

I set the plastic grocery bags with milk, eggs
and meat on the derty tile in the derty kitchen,
dig in the closet for porn (she ain't home yet)


good ol' days

I got XXX on VHS but cain't watch it nowhere
I fantasize 'bout my favorite money shots
when I lather up my stiff dick in the shower
and adjust the tracking of my dirty thoughts


it's not fucking unless it's fucking

my girl ain't got no old panties
always rip 'em off the coochie
her puss tastes like warm, thick water
pubes soft as baby bunny fur


~O~

next time, close the curtains

i hear laughing
kids on the rooftop
across the alley
one on the fire escape
did they see me masturbate

Denim

Your jeans are filthy

Never wash them 'cause I likes I likes
It all dirty

Maybe imagine them
Unbuttoning
Button after
Button after
Button

Stains like soda and sandwich and
something I-dunno-what's in that cotton, Kitten

Peel it all back
Leave it all crumpled by the bed
Prrrrrrr for me prrrrrrr

For me and

I'll lick you clean