It is Friday!
Friday! Friday! Friday!
Friday at last! Friday!
The day after Thursday
The start of the weekend
When I transform myself
Into a 24-hour
Party Person
Shortly, I will go clubbing
Snort coke off a nun's wimple
Watch pole dancers lustfully
Maybe pole dance myself
Get in a fight
Headbutt a tourist
End up stoned
Drunk and
Bloody in
A gutter
But first
A cocoa
And an
Early
Night
(I am old)
wool cap, invisible lips
your wire rims and
bird-faced wife
students watching
you skip out
before the bell rings
your model plane hobby
interrupts us
when the glue has dried
12 and 6
is the best position
as the crisp twists
don't get crushed
by my bossy thighs
I'd offer to brush your hair
To press my chest against your back and
Surreptitiously inhale your shampoo
I'd finger the neckline of your frilly white shirt
Pretending to straighten it out for you
While grazing your skin
I'd steal glances at your breasts
Wondering how I want them
To paw, pinch and squeeze, or exchange for my own?
I'd give you what boys don't
So you'll think about loving me
With my scarcely hidden desire
I'd make it very uncomfortable
Very
Very quickly
This is my week of goodness
Of the satisfying clunk of falling into place pieces
Of the tight twist of bolts driven home
Even teetering on precipices of potential disaster
(No change there, then)
I'll take you
With a pinch of salt
With a dash of pepper
With a sour lemon
With a bottle of gin
With a dose of reality
With a shot in the dark
With a capsule of cyanide
Donning an afro
I will scream
Party
My leaden hoofs
(Stiletto-laden)
To stamp and stomp
The hardwood floors
I'll smoke
I'll curse
I'll spill champagne
My blinding sequins
Conspire with the disco ball
To blind you for daring
To pay me no mind
You rape the morning
with your
pots and pans
hands
Scarecrow knocked
from peaceful perch
ears echoing with the
slut-sick screams of
every
single
one
of
your lucite-heeled
whores
Your obtrusive footsteps
thunder
killing the morning crows
with your awful
awake
Coo
Coooo
Coo
I wonder if I could shit on
That bloke's head from here?
Coo
I can smell kebabs
Can you smell kebabs?
I hate kebabs
Coo
Coooo
Race you to that rooftop
Go on, race me to that rooftop
Coo
I could shit on that woman's shoulder
And she would never know what hit her
Coo
Coooo
I fundamentally disagree with Ken's viewpoint
That we're disease-ridden vermin
I voted for that bimbo, Boris
Coo
Coooo
Starving, I am
I could murder one of those kebabs
I've only had two slugs since yesterday
Coo
Coooo
Coo
Seen this new trick with my tail feathers?
Bet you can't do that whilst
Standing on one leg and cooing
Coo
Why are there no mad pigeon women
In this bloody city?
I could do with some bread
Coo
Coooo
I've nearly finished reading Wittgenstein
I've got the complete works of Proust
To read next
Coo
Last one to that rooftop's a wuss
Shit on that old lady's umbrella
As we go, right?
Coo
Cooooo
Coo
[Exit pigeon, flapping]
I'm back in the arms of my open sore again
Alone and undone and remorseful again
Denied and unloved and remiss again
The blankets, the covers, the bed is unmade
Give me a decision
Not just your derision
I make an incision
With bloody precision
I wish for division
Can't stop my collision
With your tunnel vision
gasp for me little girl
while we sit here
watching the dumb plane
swim the slow sky
as i gently slide
a finger into you
know you are
special
to me
When a
Tree falls
In the
Forest
But there
Is not
A Soul
Around
To Hear
It crash
To the
Earth
Does it make a sound?
When a
Thought is
Thought but
Is not
Written
As a
Status
Update
In a
Corner
Of the
Web
Does it even exist?
I was cutting hot dogs and
one fell onto the floor and
I picked it up and
washed it and
realized,
'this looks like a dick'
I took the hot dog dick and
put it by my crotch and
did a,
'I have a floppy hot dog penis' dance
in front of you and
you got down on your knees and
sucked my fake hot dog dick and
then fucked me stupid with your
real dick while
the dog licked the floor
where the hot dog
had fallen.
In this, our new year
Resolve to treat God's creatures
With more dignity
Cover them with marinade
Before slowly cooking them
In this, our new year
Resolve to stop being so
Passive-aggressive
Forget about the passive
Just be aggressive instead
In this, our new year
Resolve to play your part in
Saving the planet
The easiest way is to
Recycle the last twelve months
In this, our new year
Resolve to spend much more time
With the family
Not your own family, though
For that way just lies madness
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