Open letter to the guy in the steam room at the gym beating his gigantic penis

Stop jerking your cock in the steam room

Seriously, dude

That's like three different crimes and a health-code violation

Plus your shit was so big it traumatized me

YOU WERE SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME, OKAY

I heard some slapping then it got faster and I looked over and

Oh my god, what the fuck

Not cool man, not cool

He was beating it hard, too, like it stole his front-row tickets to "Rent"

If his goop had landed on me someone woulda had to die

And it would have been me from a deadly, incurable virus, okay

I ran to the shower and shivered like Jodie Foster in "The Accused"

Which is like more than 20 years old now

And only has a 7.0 rating on IMDB

Anyway

Stop jerking your cock in the steam room

Seriously, dude


~O~