Full On Idle

I spike my juice
I smoke in the kitchen
I just want someone to tell me
since when
we fucking started
shaving our hands and arms
I can't even get out bed
I spike my tap water
stub my cigarettes
on your favourite CDs
I just want to know
one thing
right
since when
we fucking started
watching cooking shows
in our underpants
I type some shit
and read it to myself and think
since when
we fucking started
sounding like when
Billy stole the drum machine
and pounded on my heart
I spike my toothpaste
because I just want to know
since when
since when I started being
this insufferable bore
since when do I type
so brash and sincere
since when does my voice
sound like candy-coloured cloth
like paper gin stroking a match
on your chin and tasting it
since when
did boys start liking you
after they got to know you
instead of fucking you silly,
empty and famished