Hi from Camille*

nimble nimble stamp spay!
usable wary filth left!
wax finis rang.
pastor bran bikini finis?
sanies pent.
etcher fart enemy cynic!
damsel limbo sown far.
vox linger recite.
yellow gift nopal.
lotah teens scanty denary!
lordly filly limbo.
usable stamp dot digger.
wary donate enemy delete.
fealty damsel lordly dot!
lotah byword teens molar.
cynic giaour furfur.
midget recite hamlet.
nopal spay.
paraph cynic cod trite?
shaver lucky sanies creamy?
nimble morion stamp rang.
digger bran yellow paraph?
need fart.
runt morion racing denary?
lunacy giaour graph.
jaunty noil plasma.
scanty grew gig acacia.
digger trite.
tirade fealty dam recite?
tirade enter byre barium.
scout creamy sown.
lucky solid hamlet leaves!
juror typhus vox.
limbo far orange.
pent stamp usable pent!
acacia cynic noil lucky!
shaver solid runt diaper!
leaves bran far bran!
muddy typhus.
recite nude donate disk?
hamlet enemy furfur hamlet?
drum dot left filly?
toils byre shaver nude.
recite sown.
leaves leaves forgo jaunty.
denary diaper etcher melee!
stamp shaver.
hamlet assert etcher spay?
napoo stamp assert leaves?
spay gig tizzy.
assert rang.
denary lordly.
leer recite lucky tirade!
creamy nopal linger barium?
wary trite delete limbo!
sanies denary advise.
runt nopal juror.
disk stamp scout toils.
sanies enter bracer solid.
bran damsel paraph scout?
fart furfur disk morion.
lordly scout shaver.
fart paraph wax finis!
leaves lordly.
fealty advise.
juror finis drum bumpy.
etcher gleam toils kersey!
midget assert usable raging.
nude dam need castor!
asthma wax forgo limbo!
dam pub graph.
fealty cod leer cod!
tirade nimble rang.
cod recite.
juror delete cynic.
spay finis.
shaver gig drum pub?
leaves leer melee need?
wary byword creamy.
yellow enter.
wary fealty juror napoo!
typhus assert left.
scanty juror jaunty shaver?
lucky pent kersey solid!
etcher dot byre.
nude limbo wary hamlet!
etcher filly byword.
usable pastor enemy sown!
wary lunacy sown.
lunacy bumpy graph solid.
forgo bran bran.
creamy bikini teens acacia!
digger gleam cod zeal.
damsel creamy left trite?
filly midget.
rang juror juror gleam!

* This is not my poem. These are the words of Camille - whoever she is - from the spam email she sent me this morning. Reading it, I discovered that it was the greatest work of surrealist poetry ever.**

** This may be open to debate.

The Untimely Death of Bunny Ears

I am 'dying'
No, really
I am 'dying'

I'm exhausted
And 'spent'
I have grown old

Overindulgence
And overuse
Have 'withered' me

I no longer know
Whether I am here
For 'emphasis'

Or for 'irony'
To make a 'point'
Can you help me?

I am 'fading' fast
My bunny ears are
Wilting, even 'drooping'

This is it
This is 'the end'
Goodbye, 'cruel' world

'Goodbye'

(And in my last breath
I will whisper to you
That I feel 'neutral'
About this poem)

there is no beauty in glue

you aged before me
a girl half my number
sitting cement faced
for a massive fat man
doing free sketch portraits
in the park

i watched your
face wrinkle
and crease
17 to 70
in 22 seconds

the image panicked me
and adjusted my gaze away
to the tiled fountain behind your frail head

tiles
glossy brown and blue
in diamond pattern
held together by white grout

grout is never commended
or given any merit

it is rarely noticed
a person does not walk up
and inspect grout
or take count of each bubble and pockmark
in the coarse imperfection
of its surface

they simply do not see the grout

unless it's green and slimy
of course

a person does notice
if it detracts from
the beauty of the
art

that day i wanted to
become grouting

to meld between those tiles
and escape mortal form
to not detract from your beauty

i just need to stay clean
and that's the hardest part

i will bake brownies to lessen your discontent every time we're together

let's start a new thing
a house and a baby
tell your brother to visit
maybe some of your friends too?

my leg is tired
my leg is old

if i stretch out then bend
to huddle close
we can pretend
we're jellyfish
fleshy and wet
contracting and releasing to move

start something with me
i'm excited to feel you near
my lip is swollen
from the ant bite
your word is wounds
from a pen knife